God Hedges His Bets

There are no strong Republican challengers to the re-election of President Barack Obama and, at this point, predicting who will win the Republican primary is a tough call. So tough, in fact, that even God is hedging his bets.

Texas governor Rick Perry is the latest Republican to claim being called by God to accept the privilege of running for the nomination for president. Perry has given up all hope that Americans can improve the nation's economy, ensure security and welfare, and deal with natural disasters, suggesting we let God handle it. Some folks think Perry is out of favor with God, since his call for Texans to pray for drought-ending rain has been answered by the spread of Hellish conditions in the Lone Star State.

Other Republicans claiming summons from God include Michelle (Pray-Away-the-Gay) Bachmann, who made her claim in an interview in the WingNut Daily back in 2009. Fellow conservative Republican Tucker Carlson's Daily Caller has reported that God is punishing Bachmann by serving her up with migraines. The piece did not seem to mention the Curse of Eve, however.

Pizza maker Herman Cain also has God's nomination (Hear him on You-Tube here). Cain vows to protect America by not appointing any Muslims to his cabinet, if elected.

Apparently the field of celebrities provides pretty poor pickings for a presidential candidate, so God has also placed a bet on some guy in Rolla, Missouri. Paul Sims describes himself as an "ordinary citizen and everyday man...George Washington of today." He can be seen describing his call from God and his platform here. His solution for economic recovery is to throw out regulations and make taxes optional.

You may remember that George W. Bush declared that he was called by God to be our nation's leader, and God told him to invade Iraq. Perhaps that was Dick Cheny hiding under a desk and speakinig in a funny voice. Anyway, we all know how well that leadership worked out.

Although Bush claimed to be called by God to lead the country, his attorney general, John Ashcroft, actually  had himself anointed with oil in the manner of Israelite Kings Saul and David.

Since incumbent President Obama is expected to run for re-election, there is no crowd of Democratic hopefuls vying for the party's nomination. I guess it's just as well; according to a PPP poll on God's job approval:  

There is also an ideological divide over God’s performance. Those who identify as very liberal approve of God 54-18, while those who identify as very conservative are almost uniform in their approval, 61-4.