Monday, December 30, 2013

Was Homo erectus Santa White?

I was wondering about Santa visiting the kiddies of Homo erectus families about a million years ago. Was Santa white way back then? The only way to solve this enigma is to ask a Republican!

Fox News has answered this question for us--Santa, a real entity, was(is) definitely white. Megyn Kelly says so, based on well, you know, something. She must be right, because renowned  paleoanthropologist Herr Professor Doktor Bill O'Reilly agrees.

But all of this speculation is moot, there's no such thing as extinct hominins; the majority of Republicans don't "believe" in evolution. That's right; Santa Claus is real, but evolution, climate change, and other things scientists talk about and work on are commie conspiracies to overthrow the American way of life.  As Representative Paul Broun (R-GA), who sits on the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology, put it,

All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and Big Bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of hell. And it's lies to try to keep me and all the folks who are taught that from understanding that they need a savior.


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